You know what sucks? Everything.

I have very conflicting feelings about what people has to say about me. Lately, that is what people has been doing.. talking about me. It's ironic because I have like what, <5 people that are constant in my life right now, but it seems like there's a lot of people who has a lot of crap to say. I say conflicting because my first reaction to knowing, is anger. Like who the fuck are you to talk about me? Then when I calmed down, and put my fucking brain (instead of my heart) in motion.. I started thinking. Are they trying to tell me something, am i really a bad person. Maybe it's good that I don't have that many people in my life as before, I wouldn't do any harm to them. People say that it's part of growing up, losing people, seeing their true colors.. but what they don't tell me is that the feeling suck. It's like in life you expect some things to happen (just cause), but they don't fucking tell you how to deal with the grief, hurt, betrayal or the letdowns.

I really don't know how i went from seeing the best in every single person, loving every single person, to feeling like this. But all i gotta say is, I should have known that I cannot trust anyone.