You've applied pressure to help me crystallized

To think that I would have grown emotionally stronger after all the things I went through in my teens, I feel disgusted that I am still dependent on someone else's love, concern, attention and normalcy. How can I expect other people to love me until the end of time, when I cannot even love a speck of myself. Most of the time, I feel lost. I don't know why I avoid so much when all I ever want is for people to listen. The worst part of being lost, is feeling stuck. You're there, but nowhere. I want happiness but I always make the people I love angry. Especially Hairil.

Tonight is one night that I never thought I would feel all those desperate feelings again. I literally feel helpless.

Things have gotten closer to the sun
And I've done things in small doses
So don't think that I'm pushing you away
When you're the one that I've kept closest