Think my heart went through a tornado these past 2 nights. Again, I allow myself to feel twice as horrible for someone else's mistake. Keep having to self-destruct to actually feel something other than anger. Not very good for my body cause that anger eventually turned to hurt, and I don't really know how to deal with hurt that well. Tried cold turkey, which made me do and say things irrationally so that wasn't really a good idea too. Why can't people just do right, so apologies can be used in better, more deserving circumstances? :(
But.... I guess I'm still grateful that even when I push (and push and push), you're still there taking it all in. I would never want to know your breaking point. Just hope that when we celebrate our day next week, the freshest memory of the whole relationship wouldn't be this sucky quarrel. I miss you, have fun in Bangkok (I mean it..)
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