And we'd get the chance we deserve

And we almost, we almost knew what love was

But almost is never enough

-----------------

Had this relieving conversation with a colleague about... life basically. I finally let out what I've been feeling this month, and I think I shocked myself that I actually was able to share some truths. Which also made me realised that it's scary that I lost the ability to open up with the people that matters most. And truth be told, I'm quite sure this fear will eventually be pointless.. everything will be pointless.

Everyday is a roller coaster ride in and out of hell, I've turned to this bitch who apparently wants everything her way. My excuse? Simple, I really don't know how to be selfless (anymore) to that one person who thinks that it's actually okay to hurt me, that it's okay to betray me (or my trust) when all along, all I did was to put my guard down. It's too late that you realised that I didn't deserve all that because oh...!! .. it already happened.

I'm quite frustrated with myself. I've been nurturing all these disappointments and hurt into something that I got accustomed to, that I find it impossible to get rid of all of that now.